Aspinwall High School Class of 1955
From Carolyn "Cari" McQuaid Thomas: This"Declaration of Independence" is from an 8-sheet "booklet" from our senior year. However, it has no title, no "authors" noted, and I made no notations on it at that time. It includes: "Plans for Next Year," "The Declaration of Independence," "J O K E S?," "Things I Have Learned at A.H.S.," "Senior Wills," "We Will Always Remember...," "Secret Desires," and on the back of the 6th sheet: "F A R E W E L L."
DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE IN ASPINWALL
June 6, 1955
The Unanimous Declaration of the One Hundred Twenty United Seniors of Aspinwall.
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one hundred twenty people to dissolve the educational chains which have bound them with knowledge; and to assume among the tyrants of discipline, the lone and lowly station to which the Laws of Their Elders entitle them, a respect to the opinions of man and womankind requires that they have to break these chains. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all our superiors are created equal, that they are enraged by us with our reasonable requests for more money, less work, and the family car. —That to secure those requests, schemes are incubated among crazy kids, deriving their just powers from the unsteady nerves of their rulers.—That whenever any System of pedagogues become obstructive to their ends, it is the Right of these Students to graduate, and to make a new start, laying the foundations on such ideas and organizing their thoughts in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to ensure more money, less work, and the family car. Tyrants, indeed, will dictate that the System of Education long established, should not, for any causes, be changed; and accordingly all experience has shown, that students are disposed to suffer the hardships of education because they cannot abolish it. But when a long train of obstructions is designed to reduce them to absolute Despotism in school, it is their duty to their fellow students, but not their right, to complain. —Such has been the impatient sufferance of these Seniors; and such is not the necessity which constrains them to alter the System of Education by graduating. —The history of Aspinwall High School is a history of repeated schooldays, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute high school education for these Seniors. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to all the underprivileged lower-classmen. —This school has refused the assent to longer vacations, —most wholesome and necessary for the good of the students. —This school has refused them representation on the school board and faculty. —This school holds secret faculty and school board meetings, admitting no students. —This school gives aid and comfort to the faculty and not the students, as seen by the Teacher's Room as opposed to the hard desks in any classroom. —This
school has Parent-Teacher Meetings, a conspiracy against students. —This school imposes punishment without the consent of the punished. —This school has refused to put in pop and candy machines, a necessity for every well-balanced lunch. We have Petitioned for our Desires in most boisterous terms. Our repeated Petitions have been answered by repeated no's from our Elders. —Tyrants, whose characters are marked by the will to make us work, are unheard leaders of our easy-going generation.
We have not been wanting in our flattering attentions to our ruling class. We have warned them from time to time of attempts to overwork us. We have reminded the teachers that they get paid to put up with us, and we have reminded our parents that we cannot be blamed for being here to bother them. We have appealed to their magnanimity and good humor. They have been deaf to the voice of justice which cries out for more money, less work, and the family car. We must, therefore, announce our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of the world, Enemies when against our reasonable desires, and Friends when For any of our fanciful notions.
We, Therefore, the Representatives of the United Students, in Aspinwall, Assembled appealing to anyone in the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name and by the authority of no one at all, SOLEMNLY publish and declare That these United Seniors, are, and by the amount of Work involved, ought to be Free and Independent Laborers; that they are Absolved from all Attendance to Aspinwall High School, and that all educational chains between them and the school are and ought to be totally forgotten; and that as Free and Independent Laborers they have no power to start riots, incite arson, destroy property, carry concealed weapons, stampede the livestock, or any other Acts and Things which Independent Laborers can't do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection from our Parents, we mutually pledge to each other unpaid bills, overdue homework, failing grades, and leftover dates. To ourselves we pledge what is left of our Lives, as much fortune as we can get, and our sacred Honor?
Liberace (and George)
J O K E S?
Cal Clyde: When I was a boy scout, we had a tent so old that it strained the rain.
Sue Stephens: Do you know why an electric chair is called period furniture?
Caroline Rickey: It always ends a sentence.
Donna Royston: Do you believe in clubs for girls?
John Newcamp: Only if all other forms of persuasion fail.
Mr. Berkheimer: How do you cool off a car?
Margaret Carr: By stripping the gears.
Doug Cushman: You'd look good in a ten gal. hat.
Cliff Borland: Yeah, but I have an eleven gal. head.
Carol Zoerb: I hear you go in for water sports.
Jim Woomer: Of course, I make ice cubes.
Boys, get your girls to use Peter Pan Make-Up before her pan peters out.
THINGS I HAVE LEARNED AT A.H.S.
Four years I have toiled and slaved in Aspinwall High School, and for what? To gain an Education, of course. Now that I have completed my four years of study, I find I have learned the following things.
Trigonometry is when a man marries three wives at one time.
The chief cause of divorce is marriage.
The laws of the United States allow a man only one wife. This is known as monotony.
Mercury is the god of weather. He is found in all thermometers.
When a man has more than one wife, he is a pigamist.
Natural immunity is catching a disease without the help of a doctor.
In the seventeenth century traveling was very romantic because they had no roads, only bridal paths.
Hors de combat means warhorse. Respiration means breathing. It is composed of aspiration and expectoration.
The pineapple is the chief product of the pine tree.
The three main races of men are long distance, hurdles, and sprints.
A hamlet is an English dish consisting of ham and eggs cooked together.
A doggerel is a small dog.
An autobiography is a history of automobiles.
Seniors are Spanish men who make love to Spanish Senoritas.
Homer wrote the Idiot and the Oddity.
A Mayor is a female horse.
A buttress is a female buttermaker.
To germinate means to become a German.
A paradox is two English ducks.
Goethals was the man who dug the alimentary canal.
Milton was a poet who wrote Paradise Lost. When his wife died, he wrote Paradise Regained.
Of course, I have learned other things in good old A.H.S., but those I plan to forget as soon as possible.
After much time spent in deep, deep consideration, the Seniors of Aspinwall, the Class of '55, have written their wills. Many are leaving.....; some will.....
[and evidently 20 classmates simply - didn't! -- Carolyn McQuaid Thomas, 2005]
Ben Beal---I will my seat in Mr. Berkheimer's homeroom to any person who is willing to be kidded and teased in a joking manner.
Lindley Ann Bennett---I will my seat in chorus to anyone who sings off key as much as I do.
Sallie A. Bollinger---I will my many extra pounds? to Merry Hoover and Mollie Settle.
Cliff Borland---I leave my appreciation of high school to someone who has little or none.
Shirley Brusco---I will my gym locker to some junior who enjoys taking exercises.
George Bucha---I leave my size 10 1/2 shoe to anyone who can fill it.
Robert Burns---I leave Art Director of the yearbook to anyone who wants it.
Rosalie Calderaro---I will my school name of Emily Calhoun to a future senior girl that's tired of being confused with a classmate.
Margaret Carr---I would like to leave the second seat from the back, near the windows, in room 10 to a lucky Junior who can have as much fun as I did.
Elaine Claus---I leave a dictionary to one certain Willy, to find out what confiscate means.
Joan Coco---I will my less interesting classes to some likely prospect.
Edda Collins---I will all my books, pencils, tablets, and teachers to some unsuspecting junior.
Jack Cook---I am gladly willing my books to Bob Kier.
Sue Cook---I will to Ethel Bria what I don't have to will and also my ability to tablehop.
Eugene Consolo---I will to Larry Panyon my all-star seat in the basketball line-up.
Jack Richard Cupps---I leave my seat in Miss Frey's study hall to some lucky junior.
Doug Cushman---I leave Ben Beal to Sears & Roebuck.
Ruth Dahler---I will my aches and pains from exercising in gym to Miss Hall.
Kathy Dearing---I will my lousy luck with the opposite sex to any junior who thinks she can beat it.
John Eichner---I will my seat in room 11 to some lucky junior.
Betty Erwin---I leave my weal [sic] vocal chords to anyone who can whisper for a month, and who can keep quiet at football games as I should have done.
Barbara Federkeil---I will Derfy to Rayme.
Jack Ferber---I will to Charlie Corr my gold plated, mongrammed, Clarabell horn.
Robert Ray Ferris---I leave my place in Speech class to anyone else who gets caught with too many study halls.
Lucille Fox---I will my southern accent to Ella Mae.
Lowie Frauenholz---I will my ability to sleep in any class to Ronnie Dominick.
Joe Gibbs---I would like to leave the last seat from the back, near the windows, in room 10 to a lucky junior who can have as much fun as I did.
Judy Gillespie---I, being of sound mind and will, will my tassels to Joanne Whalen.
Janek Gunther---I will everything that isn't mine to anyone who wants it.
Carol Greene---I leave my front seat in General Business Class to anyone stupid enough to take it.
Sonja Hail---I will to Joyce Kozora my numerous changes of seats in Mr. Lindsay's study hall.
Salli Hamre---I leave to Mary Jo West that same old argument, that anything she can do I can do better...
David Hastings---I'm going to take everything with me.
John Hatton---After much deep thinking, I will take everything with me.
Joy Helbling---I leave my pennies for licorice to some junior art student.
Edward Helfrich---I leave my Marlon Brando motorcycle seat cover to Billy Owens for the rumbleseat of his Nash.
Lee Henry---I leave my Howdy Doody fan club pin to Herman Fritsch.
Helen Hickler---I leave---Gladly!
Nancy Hubbell---I will my rifle to any girl who thinks you can't get a man with a gun!
Nancy Humes---I will my points on the rifle team to any able left-hander interested.
Marden Ireland---I gladly leave to any junior my seat in French class.
Regis Kane---I leave my nickname, "Pear", to any fat little junior that can fulfill it.
Velma Keller---I leave my vice-presidency in the "Julius Zeezers" club to Mabel Beachler, in case she doesn't make enough F's to be president.
Jim King---I will my parking place on the hill to the next senior with a bad starter.
Nancy King---I will all my sleepy time, 6th and 7th hours, to all sleepy underclassmen.
Chuck Kramb---I leave my parking space on the wrong side of Fourth Street to Ronny Brown.
Janet Kremer---I leave all my trouble in physics to any future senior who wants or has to take them.
Jay Labarthe---I leave Health Class-----gladly!
Joe Lamperski---I will my seat in English to a worthy junior.
Carol Linder---I will my French verb chart to any monsieur or mademoiselle who wants it.
Bob Little---I leave my good friend, Mr. Burton, to the juniors.
Marty Loresch---I leave all my hitchhiking ability to any junior who doesn't like the hike over to art.
Judi MacNeil---I leave my job of pinning Barb Baker into her cheering uniform to my pal, Judy Snyder.
Pat McGahan---I leave my presidency in the "Julius Zeezer's Club" to Mabel Beachler.
Babs McLaughlin---I will my dead car to Lizzy "Bullets" Fort.
Carolyn McQuaid---I leave all my teachers to the underprivileged underclassmen.
John McRandal---I will all the hard luck to Augie Guzzi.
Marlin Meigs---I will to Louise Hunzeker, my silent, closed-mouth, rapt, devotion to study in Mr. Lindsay's study halls.
Charles Barry Montgomery---I will my place under the heat lamp to Herman Fritsch.
Marge Morcom---I leave some petunias to the junias.
Grace Morgan---I will my seat in band that I had possessed for the last 5 years to any eager underclassman who is willing to play the clarinet for that long.
Lynne Morison---I, being of unsound mind, bequeath my French II book to any poor junior who can translate it.
Barbara Moroff---I leave my hard work as senior editor of the yearbook to Mary Jo West.
Pat Mueller---I will all the times, both good and bad, that I've had at A.H.S. to anyone who wants them.
Jack Mulley---I leave my corner seat in mechanical drawing to Steve Hathazy.
Shirley Negley---I will my exercise position in gym to any junior sufferer.
John Newcamp---I leave my choice parking space for Ray Ebel.
Shirley Newcamp---I will my water gun to three certain junior girls.
Lee Nix---I will my parking spot on the yellow line in front of the school to Willard Long.
Jack Otte---I leave the paper, candy wrappers, and assorted trash that is left in my desk to any junior who wants them.
Charles Perrin---I leave the editorship of the "witticisms" to Jim McIntyre.
Jo Lynn Pruitt---I will to Jesse Krall my love of the South.
Bob Racki---I will my empty Bard grape bottle to Bird Dog.
Rachel Ravey---I will my dining room window to Margaret Carr for her to use for further observation.
Donald Reed---I leave my ability to fool around during basketball practice to anyone who likes to get a rise out of Mr. Lindsay.
Jim Richardson---I will my old learner's permit to anyone who wants it.
Caroline Rickey---I will my basketball shoes to my sister, Nancy, hoping she doesn't get as many blisters as I did.
Ray Rickley---I leave Willy Long some of my height to go with his weight.
Mabel Rieger---I will my sudden flashes of temper to anyone who finds a use for them.
Arlene Reitz---I leave my roaring laughter in General Business to Dot Skladowski.
Janet Roach---I will all my aches and pains from gym class to all the junior girls.
Patty Roberts---I give all my books to anyone who wants them. (For nothing.)
Donna Royston---I leave my giggle to some sour-pussed junior.
Marlene Sams---I will my sarcasm to some sweet junior who needs it.
Ruth Scheib---I'm taking it all with me.
Midge Sill---I leave my dancing to any junior who wants it.
Al Slater---I leave my place on the rifle team to Jack Moore.
Adrienne Soost---I leave my 106th gym number to Merry Hoover.
Don Swaim---I leave my collection of original masterpieces to Mr. Berkheimer.
Dan Thalimer---I leave my empty shells to anyone who can shoot so much and hit so little.
Joe Thomas---I leave my ability to break fountains off the wall to Augie Guzzie.
Florence Tomko---I will my front seat in General Business to anyone who wants it.
Luise Wally---I leave my gun sling to some gun that can shoot better than mine did.
Ann Wilkinson---I will my early morning fogginess to any poor junior who has to get out of bed as early as I do.
Barb Wilson---I will locker No. 64 to five desiring seniors next year, if they have lots of junk.
Jim Woomer---I will my physics review sheets-----.
Patty Wysocki---I will my ability to get everything all balled up to Merry Hoover who is doing alright without it.
Carol Zoerb---I leave to Nancy Snyder my P.O.D. book with all important meanings underlined.
JoAnn Zuccaro---I leave my ability to pull boners in physics class to any girl who knows as little as I do about machinery.
WE WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER...
Lindley Bennett's red hair
Diz Brown and Jack Ferber always together
Shirley Brusco's corny jokes
Bob Burns' art talent
Nancy Hubbell as Annie Oakley
Alma Salvetti's solos
Donna Royston's laugh
Judi Mac's ability to tell stories
Chuck Perrin's brains
Jo Ann Zuccaro for her Large vocabulary
Nancy King for her kindness to others
Judy Gillespie's chicken pox
Barb Wilson and Patti Roberts for doing things they shouldn't do
Janet Roach's happiness
Luise Wally and the fine job she did in directing our Sr. play
Bob Artzberger's devilish pranks
Al Slater's convertible
Babs McLaughlin's tiny waist
Joe Schwab for his knowledge of history
Carolyn McQuaid for her ability in Gym class
Jack Thomas's bright pink Ford that looks like an Easter egg
Eugene Consolo's temper
Janek Gunther's dimples
Don Swaim's ability in drama
Ralph Casperino's "go, go, go."
Jay Labarthe's leadership
Joe Lamperski's smile
Patty Wysocki's poise
Ben Beal's shyness
Janet Kremer's quiet ways
Carol Linder as a leading lady
Jim Woomer's height
Sallie Bollinger's blue eyes
Chuck Kramb's long eyelashes
Joe Thomas as a flirt
Barry Montgomery's shoulders
Ginny Boone as a petite miss
Jim King in French class
Thelma Long's engagement ring
Ann Wilkison's litheness
Cliff Borland's ring on his little finger
Velma Keller and Pat McGahan as Marlon Brando fans
Martha Loresch's blonde hair
Flo Tomko as "Flying Flo"
George Bucha's curly hair
Regis Kane as "Pear"
Dan Thalimer's wittiness
Rosalie Calderaro as Emily Calhoun
Marden Ireland's neat clothes
Marlin Meigs' sweetness
Sue Stephens' love for POD
Agnes Schettley, Carm Pino, and Marg Carr as a trio
Nancy Humes' sprained ankle
Marj Morcom's locket
Burt Stahlsmith's eyes
Elaine Claus's love of motorcycles
Helen Hickler in the Jr. Play
Grace Morgan's memory
Ade Soost's ability to play "Newcomb"
Cal Clyde's '55 Plymouth
Lee Henry's football ability
Lynne Morison at the milk machine
Arlene Reitz, Jo Lynn Pruitt, and Barb Federkeil for their parties
Kathy Dearing's hair
Barb Moroff's Fords
Joan Coco's size
Ed Helfrich's nose
Ida Schmitt as Barb Wilson's twin
Edda Collins' love of horses
Joy Helbling's [light-heartedness]
Jack Cook's dark complexion
Sue Cook's parties
John Hatton in the Sr. Play
Dave Hasting's "Cavalcade" announcements
Pat Mueller's hair styles
Jack Cupp's great sense of humor
Salli Hamre's slowness in Gym class
Jack Mulley's clothes
Mabel Rieger's quietness
Doug Cushman's scholarship
Ruth Dahler's friendliness
Shirley Negley's remarks in Health class
Ray Rickley as "Clem"
John Eichner's classy cars
Betty Erwin's readiness for fun
Bob Grimes' pestiness in home room
Lucille Fox's friendliness
John Newcamp's husky build
Caroline Rickey's curiosity in Health class
Rachel Ravey's stylish clothes
Carol Green's interest in the Army
Bob Ferris' speeches in Speech class
Shirley Newcamp's long hair
Jim Richardson's work on the newspaper staff
Lowie Frauenholz's volley ball team
Joe Gibbs as a majorette in the football assembly
Don Reed's talkativeness
Lee Nix's Art ability
Bob Racki's convertible
Jack Otte's answers in English class
Shirley Perrine's ability in basketball
MUSIC, MOVIES, TV, AND THE AHS CLASS OF 1955 [?]
Davy Crockett-----Lee Henry
Long Sam-----Adrienne Soost
Five Feet Two, Eyes of Blue-----Barbara Federkeil
Lazy Bones-----Bob Artzberger
Daniel Boone-----Ginny Boone
Big Ben Bolt-----Ben Beal
The Country Girl-----Judy Gillespie
The Flying Dutchman-----Flo Tomko
Shake, Rattle, and Roll-----Jack Cook's car
Variety is the Spice of Life-----Barry Montgomery
Uncle Miltie-----Milton Ertel
The Old Master Painter-----Lee Nix
Brown Eyes-----Judy MacNeil
Mr. McGoo [sic]-----Jack Cupps
Crazy Otto-----Jack Otte
Johnny Guitar-----John Newcamp
Joey-----Joe Gibbs and Joe Thomas
We Love Lucy-----Lucy Fox
Oop Shoop-----Mrs. Shoop
The Long Grey Line-----Mr. Dahl's description of West Point
Battle Cry-----Aspinwall vs Oakmont
On the Waterfront-----Girl's showers
From Here to Eternity-----From Freshman to Senior
You Always Hurt The ones You Love-----Miss Hall's Gym Class
The High and the Mighty-----SENIORS
Young at Heart-----The teachers
Until Then-----Until Graduation
Party Panic-----Senior Year
Dancing in the Dark-----Kanteen
Unchained Melody-----Anyone who breaks up with their steady
After Graduation Day-----??????????????????????????????
Why be Afraid to Dance?-----Boys???
This Ole' House-----A. H. S.
The Thing-----Report Cards
There is Nothing Like a Dame-----Senior Girls
Carefully Taught-----A. H. S. Graduates
Night of Nights-----Graduation
The Bad and the Beautiful-----Seniors
The Next Voice You Hear-----Dr. Norman
Trinkets of Shiny Gold-----Class Rings
Turn Back the Hands of Time.-----Curfew on date night
Phantom Regiment-----Processional at Graduation
I Can't Say No-----Girl's reply to invite to the Prom
It's Been a Long, Long Time-----Twelve Years of School
The Sand and the Sea.-----The Biology Room
Our Academy Award Winner-----Carol Linder
Any Questions?-----Mr. Berkheimer
Parade of Clowns-----Halls at lunchtime
Where Will The Baby's Dimple Be?-----Mr. Lindsay and Dr. Norman
Wrong, Wrong, Wrong-----You Goofed!
F A R E W E L L
"Farewell" is generally accepted as a word of leave-taking or adieu. Actually, it is much more. It is a contraction of an expression of good wishes at parting; a shortening of "fare thee well." In this way we use it today. As we bid adieu to our classmates, the faculty, the underclassmen, yes, even the very walls of Aspinwall High School, it is with a wish on our lips and a prayer in our hearts that all will go well with you in the days and years to come.
"Fare thee well for I must leave thee;
Do not let this parting grieve thee,
For the time has come when you and I
Must say "good-bye".
Adieu, kind friends, adieu.
I can no longer stay with you,
So I'll hang my harp on the weeping willow tree
And pray that all goes well with thee."
Thanks to Carolyn "Cari" McQuaid Thomas for saving this ancient AHS artifact to share on the Internet.